Just Some Time

18th June 2017

As I woke up, walked up to his room, wished him "happy father's day papa" he kissed my forehead and thanked me. I asked him how he wants to spend his day? He just smiled and said nothing special, just stay home today. His answer made me realize that it took me an entire year to ask my dad a simple question, it took me an entire year to get a day for my dad and what the old man wants is just some time with me at home.

Three years I have been living alone in some other city for the so-called formal education, so we don't talk much we don't get time even when I am home I am either out or busy which made me realize I have distanced my own father from myself, the man who did everything for me, killed his own desires for my stupid demands and he still loves me, he might not say it much but I know he believes in me and he has no complaints, no expectation just a wish, a wish to see me succeed, see me happy and well also see me married and have kids "not happening dad".

As his fiftieth birthday past, he has always been concerned whether he has done enough or not? He has been worried, what if something happens to him, what will happen to his wife and kids? He is scared whether his son is competent to take all the responsibilities? Whether he has been a good father or not? Whether his daughter see the man who she wants to be with, in him or not? I can't answer all the questions but however it might help, I know he has done enough, we can never be ready to take it if something happens to him and he has been a great father.

So father, we might fight at times, mother and I might scold you for your food habits well you have a big heart, not a strong one though. We might disagree on many things, but you are the one who taught me how to ride a bicycle or how to drive a car. You are the one I enjoy cricket most with, you are the one I had my first drink with, you are the one who realises my needs before I could realise it myself, you are the one to get me all the amazing  junk food I ever had, it did make me fat but it's okay everything worked out fine. You are the one I got my charm and charisma from, you are the one who always leads me, I can't thank you enough for anything, you selfless man but I will try my level best to make it up to you I have been looking up to you my entire life, I will make sure you look up to me some day.

Lastly, I need you to know how much you mean to me, and how much I need you, how much I love you, I am not going to upload a picture of us on some social media for the day, I don't need to do that to prove my love for you to everyone but you, I am not going to wait for another father's day to spend time with you, to show my concern for you. You always asked me what I want to do with my life, let me tell you whatever I will make out of my life it will definitely make you proud.

                                                                                           
                                                                                       Himanshu Narang